My irrational hatred of elephants

My irrational hatred of elephants

posted in Rants on by with 12 Replies

Every so often, the topic of elephants will be brought up in conversation, usually because there was something in the news mentioning a new discovery about elephant behaviour,  but regardless of the reason, my response is always the same, an inexplicable remark that I hate elephants, I absolutely loathe them. The typical response to this is an incredulous stare and a query as to why I could possibly direct such venom towards such “majestic and docile animals”. At the time, I usually struggle to explain why I feel this way, so I usually just say “Yeah, it’s irrational, but I just hate them.” and end it there. But now with this blog, I have an opportunity to state my reasons fully, so that I can direct people to it when the need arises, not to try to convince them that they should adopt my view, but as a way to give people a glimpse into why I hold this seemingly unusual view. 

I think it’s important to start by specifying that this is not a phobia, nor is it a result of a traumatic event, I was never accosted in a dark alley by a sinister elephant. I did get up close to an elephant when I was a child though, there was one at a visiting circus, and they were letting kids sit on top of it to get a photo taken. I did refuse to climb up onto the creature, but that was not due to any dislike or fear of the animal, I had no feelings toward it at the time or after. I did however have a fear of heights, and being perched so high up on anything was a scary prospect, let alone something that moved. Still, when I have been grilled about my hatred of elephants, one of the first things people enquire upon is whether I’ve had any experiences with elephants in the past, and out of an unwillingness to lie, I’ve had to share the above circus encounter, which always resulted in them either stating or thinking that they’d solved the conundrum of my unusual hatred, nothing could irk me more.

I’ve had all sorts of pets over the years, all of which I’ve adored, and have always described myself as an animal lover, elephants are the sole exception (so far). I actually used to like Elephants once too, as much as every other animal, it wasn’t until much later in life that my opinion of elephants gradually changed into outright dislike. I started to notice patterns of traits and behaviour attributed to elephants that were to my eye increasingly abhorrent.  Over time all of these small pieces started to coalesce in my mind to form the image of a creature entirely abnormal and repugnant, a creature that could have easily been something conjured from the mind of H. P. Lovecraft, but was instead formed by nature, and whose sinister qualities are entirely ignored by the world in favour of the image of being “lovable gentle giants”.

I’m going to try to list the key contributing factors to my arguably warped subjective view of elephants, so as to show you all my way of thinking.

  • Ugliness/Freakishness – It’s not difficult to see just how ugly elephants are, their appearance can be considered downright grotesque. The misshapen knobbly skull, the comically huge ears, the elongated prehensile nose, those little beady eyes. Joseph Merrick was named after them for a reason. Not only are they ugly though, but they also have a few physical qualities that are downright bizarre, which to my mind makes them mutated freakish creatures, warped by evil forces. Some of these qualities include, the inability to jump, or to properly run (instead they shuffle at higher speed), constantly growing teeth at the backs of their mouths, pushing older teeth to the front where they get crushed and broken until they fall out. Their bulbous drum-like feet, which are highly sensitive to vibrations in the ground, to the point where it’s been theorized that they can communicate with each other over vast distances by stomping on the ground.
  • Intelligence – It’s also quite well-known how intelligent these ugly creatures are, they’re right up there with primates and dolphins.  They actually have the largest brains of any land mammal, and there are new studies coming out all the time having discovered yet more remarkable intelligent behaviour from these creatures, the level of their intelligence has yet to be fully understood. This point alone doesn’t explain why I hate them, but this trait in combination with the others below starts to form quite an alarming picture of a creature intelligent enough to actually have the capability to be evil.
  • Musth – Periodically male elephants (even domesticated ones) will enter the state of Musth, not much is known about what actually causes it, but what is known is that during it, the elephant has a huge hormonal surge of testosterone that sends the bull into a fit of rage and aggression for weeks or even months. During this state, it will attack, destroy and kill everything in sight, and the majority of human deaths by elephants are a result of this condition, as they kill everyone and everything in their path. The normal practice to stop these attacks is to securely tie the elephant to a sturdy tree as it starts to develop the signs (which handlers are taught to keep an eye out for), or to keep it within a highly secure solitary enclosure, and if these methods fail, or if the symptoms weren’t caught, then the creature is usually shot to save lives and villager livelihood. Because this condition is known about by those who handle elephants, and that we’ve gotten so good at preventing it, the statistics available about the number of murderous rampages perpetrated by elephants has been carefully controlled, but the truth is, without these methods, they would kill everyone they could.
  • Vindictiveness – Even when not in a state of Musth, elephants are still among the worlds most dangerous creatures, and are capable of killing any other land mammal, even a Rhino. One of the things most often mentioned about elephants is that they never forget, and not only is this true, but they will also get revenge. There have been many accounts of elephant vindictiveness, after one of their kind have been killed, elephants will retaliate with force against the killer, with entire groups of them attacking villages responsible for culling elephant numbers or even for killing a rogue elephant endangering their homes, going on a rampage until they’ve killed those responsible, or being shot dead themselves.

As a final note, I want to clarify, that when I say I hate elephants, I mean it in the same way as some people may say they hate football hooligans, or gangster rap. It’s not that I want to go out into the world with a big gun and kill them all, I don’t, It’s meant in the sense that I feel the world would be a much better place without them, and maybe after reading this, you’ll start to understand why I hold this view.


12 Comments on “My irrational hatred of elephants

  • I hate them too! I cant stand them they look like they’ve got a huge penis hanging off their face their fucking disgusting anyone who likes them are fucking idiots and losers they look like a big fat fart, I wish they would just die out already, one animal I don’t care about, I hate horses too, don’t even get me started on those inbred fucks, even baby elephants are disgusting too, imagine how much they stink? ugh, don’t even want to think about that. fuck elephants. and keep the hate alive!

  • I love them!! 100 are killed a day! They’re one of the most loving animals, and as I read the article I realized I have millions of them in my room. Everywhere form blankets, to pillows, to jewelry, to statues, oh how I love them!

  • God damnit I hate elephants so fucking much. I had to search Google to see if anyone else felt the same. I was not disappointed. I wouldn’t have the slightest care if they all vanished tomorrow. Those ugly fucking fucks.

  • I hate elephants. It’s the stupid trunk I can’t stand. What is the point of it? As for that inane trumpeting sound, it’s not clever and is just idiotic. Why can’t they learn to speak English and block up their trunks to stop the noise? Elephants are just bullies who think they can smash up villages and wreck crops, while trumpeting loudly. Even their name is stupid. Who would call themself an Ellie Phant? You’d think they’d be grateful for getting free accommodation in a zoo, after all who wouldn’t choose to live in a tiny cage when they’re used to walking for miles in the wild? Fuck off, Jumbo.

  • I am glad I am not the only elephant hater. I googled I HATE ELEPHANTS and this came up. Just the thought of elephants makes me angry.

  • I hate elephants too. And for the exact same reasons and more. I enjoy watching the old silent era footage on YouTube of the murderous Topsy the elephant being electrocuted to death and I don’t feel sorry for it because it was a bad elephant that killed someone. I don’t care if they are a keystone species. I hope they go extinct. There are people in Africa who are starving to death due to crop damage by elephants and apparently the elephant population is more important than the lives of humans. I think they are ugly malicious creatures that don’t care about anything other than their own kind. They don’t extend kindness to other animal species so why should I give a fuck about them? An elephant wouldn’t hesitate to stomp someone to death no matter how harmless and nice that person is to the damn thing. And yes I consider myself an animal lover and even love dog breeds that many people label as “dangerous” such as “Amstaffies” and other bully breeds. But see dogs are actually CUTE in my opinion but elephants are so ugly that they cannot be redeemed in my eyes. Glad I found others who hate the damn things.

  • I saw on an animal show that a cheetah (my fav big cat- they’re so cute!) was just sitting by the watering hole, minding it’s own business, and this piece of shit elephant had to start beating it to death, then it killed it! I was so frustrated that I changed the channel, calling the elephant a stupid piece of shit! cant the cat get some damn water, does everything on the plains have to be for your fat, disgusting ass, elephant? your just jealous cause the cat, and every other animal in Africa is better looking then you, fucking ugly cretin!

    then on another animal show, I saw a bunch of lionesses killing a baby elephant, I was like, hahaha, good! stupid ugly fuck! god I hope those things all die from disease, and we don’t have to look at them anymore, and im not watching the stupid live action Dumbo movie, ugh, I could care less about a stupid flying piece of crap!

    why are we saving em for, will the world end if they all die? I don’t think so, save animals that are actually worth saving okay, like the lion or cheetah, give up on those fat ass ugly things known as a fucking elephant, and why are they so fat anyways, it’s hard to get fat on a vegan diet, I think they’re hoarding donuts and candy bars, too selfish to give the others some, fucking fat pigs, ugh.

    yeah, that’s all they are, fat pigs! and I hate fat pigs!
    screw elephants, I don’t care if you get turned into piano keys or ivory, at least your good for something!

    • A lot of the people in this comment section sound like children, but they also sound like they might have some serious mental problems. I’m no psychiatrist, but I don’t think you’re entirely mentally sound if you get piping angry when you just think about Elephants. You also seem to have a lack of understanding of the food chain and African Politics. You are all most likely American or in the U.K., so what do you know? If you don’t like them, fine, but you could at least not try to sound like a sociopathic moron when you explain it. That goes for the post, but the comment especially. And speaking of the post, I could only sympathize with 10% of it, while the rest was just nonsense. Sorry, not sorry. Elephants are awesome! Deny it all you like, but deep down, you know its true! They aren’t an icon for nothing! #ElephantsRock #SaveTheElephants

  • You can all shut the absolute fuck up…
    I’m not going to reply after this unless I find it necessary, but elephants are fucking LIVING creatures!
    Not liking an animal is one thing, I for example dislike spiders, but wishing extinction upon every single one of the animals isn’t right.
    I wouldn’t wish death to a spider that is someone’s pet, so why would you wish fucking EXTINCTION on an ENTIRE SPECIES!?

    Elephants have never, and likely will never, harm another creature on purpose (defending themselves is an exception to this statement).
    You are all disgusting people for wishing death upon millions of creatures.


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